And now, PUNS...

I did a theatrical performance about puns . It was a play on words.


I changed my i Pod name to Titanic... It's syncing now .

When chemists die, they barium .

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst .

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a
seasoned veteran .

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid . He says he can stop
any time .

How does Moses make his tea ? Hebrews it .

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Than it dawned on
me .

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd
never met herbivore .

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity . I can't put it down .

They told me I had type A blood , but it was a Type- O.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra .

PMS jokes aren't funny, period .

Why were the Indians here first ? They had reservations .

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory . I hope there's no pop quiz .

Energizer bunny arrested . Charged with battery .

I didn't like my beard at first . Then it grew on me .

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils ?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble .

What does a clock do when it's hungry ? It goes back four seconds .

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger . Then it hit me !

Broken pencils are pointless .

I tried to catch some fog . I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary ? A thesaurus .

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest .

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx .

All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on .

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough .

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes .

Velcro - what a rip-off !

Cartoonist found dead in home . Details are sketchy .

Venison for dinner ? Oh dear !

Earthquake in Washington obviously Bush's fault .

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

Never fall in love with a tennis player because to a tennis player, love means nothing.

h/t JP